Sunday, December 21, 2014

Instagram Wall

Sometimes you just need to re-arrange your place to give it a new "feel" or "flow" to it.  In my case it was after a breakup and I desperately needed some new positive energy in my apartment, which I found by re-arranging my furniture.  The only bad part about doing that is that somethings on the wall can't move with the furniture. The art piece I had above my bed is securely fastened and cannot be moved (so a certain cat would not hit it and have it fall on me while I was sleeping) so when I moved my bed I had to come up with a new art project to go there.

As you can see it looks a little bland above my bed now

So naturally I went to Pinterest to find inspiration!  The only down fall was that I really needed to do this project on a budget - I was hoping for $25 or less.  I found some really really cool ideas but the two that I really gravitated towards were these two from Gimme Some Oven and A Beautiful Mess.  The problem with the one from Gimme Some Oven was the frames were so EXPENSIVE and I wanted to get it done the next day.  So I took inspiration from A Beautiful Mess and tried to do what they did - the only problem with this one was that I felt they did not give good enough instructions on how to do it.  Me, being my crafty self, decided to take a whirl at it and decided to do it!

There are a lot of place you can get your Instragram pictures printed.  But I was on a time crunch and I found a coupon for Walgreens and was able to get 60 4x4 pictures printed for about $18.  (Bonus - they were done within hours!)  It was really easy with Walgreens, you just link up your Instagram account to your Walgreens account and pick which ones you wanted printed and you were done!

I picked up some Scotch Removable Mounting Squares from Michaels.  (I got two packs for pretty cheap because I had a 50% off one item coupon)  There was not a lot of options for temporary mounting of pictures so I thought I would try these - also there is 64 in a pack which was a lot!  I got some plain old blue painters tape from Walmart because it was by FAR the cheapest! (It was maybe $1.50 there unlike the $3.50 it was at Michaels)

After you get your pictures and your supplies, I then laid out how I wanted the pictures on my floor so when I was ready to put them up all I had to do was pick them up and put them up.

Next I went to my bed and did a lot of trial and error on how to get the photos on there in the center and even with my bed frame and wall.  Finally I figured out a good system - These are the things I had to figure out in order to get started:

- With 60 photos I had enough room to do 6 rows of 10 pictures
- Figured out the measurement on how much space 10 photos took up with having one piece of tape between them
- I then took that measurement and subtracted it from how long my bed frame was and took the difference and divided it by two and that is where I would start the photos from 
- I also figured out how much length 6 pictures took up and subtracted that from the amount of wall space I had available to figure out where to start them from the top

Eventually I took one row of pictures and rolled a piece of painters tape on the back and started putting tape on the wall for the top and sides.  It looked a little something like this:

From there I moved the pictures down a row and placed tape on the sides and bottom and continued down. 

I did this until I had a spot for every picture.  Now all I had to do was to put the pictures in their place and did not have to worry about the spacing.

 I decided to put two mounting squares on each picture.  (If you decide to just put one in the center than you can get away with having one pack of the mounting strips)  I switched off which corners they were in every other picture.

After you have all of the pictures up all you have to do is remove the painters tape and you are DONE!

Overall this project took a few hours and it cost me about $20!  I am really happy with this project because I get to see my Instagram pictures, it was a cheap project, and it adds SO much color to the room!

Hopefully this post gives you some inspiration on how to do a cheap project that will liven up a room!  I know this must be an easier way to do this project - but hey this is how it worked for me.  If you try it and have a better/easy way to do it or things that worked for you let me know!  

Happy Crafting!


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Mental State and Heartbreak

In this post I am going to write about how when you are in a low place in your life, your self worth and mental state are very vulnerable.  You are searching for something good and positive in your life and because you are so desperate you might make a really bad decision.  I am going to talk about my really bad decision that I made in hopes that I can hopefully help someone not make the same mistake.

At the end of August I had been getting restless and decided to join a gym.  This wasn’t really in my budget, but my SANITY needed it.  I needed to be by people and I needed to work out to feel better and to get back into shape.  Joining the gym was both the best and worst decision I made this summer. 

It was the best because I was able to lose the extra 10 pounds I had gained this summer due to stress of losing my job and the lack of running due to my injuries. Also having interactions with people on a daily basis has helped a lot so I am not just sitting home alone.  The reason I say it was the worst is because I met the head trainer, Edgar, who would go on to date me, temporarily move in with me, and basically be my first boyfriend. All sounds good right? Well it wasn’t.  Edgar was a very verbally abusive person who used me, constantly lied to me and cheated on me. 

I am a very strong personality and I love myself.  But the way being unemployed makes one feel “less than” or “not good enough”.  I think that is why I let Edgar into my life when I normally would not have.  After being so low in life I was grasping for anything GOOD in my life and I thought that would be him.  At first it was how things were supposed to be – flirting, talking all the time, thinking about each other, etc.  Then after two weeks of seeing each other he texts me one Sunday morning saying that he was kicked out of the place he was living and asked if he could stay with me for awhile.  This caught me off guard – but after finding out that his homelessness was due to an argument and nothing illegal I said he could move in.  I really liked him and thought why not, he was at my place most nights anyway.

Things moved south after a few weeks of him being here.  First off I didn’t think he would be here this long, but I did not mind the company so I let things slide.  I was just telling myself that relationships are work and I cherished the good moments that we had.  But then he would start calling me “lazy”, “jiggly Jan”, “flabby Flo” and numerous other names that made me feel inferior.  He would make comments about my body, like suggesting I needed implants because boobs were just fat. (Note I have C cups on a 4 ft 10 in body – I am already ALL boob) When we went out to eat if I ordered something wrong/unhealthy I would be harassed for it for days – he said it was for my own good so I would make “good decisions” on what to eat.  I would constantly do whatever I could for him to make him happy.  I did his laundry, cleaned the apartment, cooked him dinners that he liked, gave him a ride to work when it snowed, made him lunches, let him drive my car when we went out, etc.  I never complained and I basically became his good little housewife.

There were a lot of things wrong with this “relationship” and I knew it. I would talk to my friends and family about stuff and they urged me to dump him and kick him out.  I was in denial and said “You don’t know about the good moments we have” or something like that.  Eventually I stopped talking about things with them and keeping them all inside mostly because I didn’t know what to do.  How do you ask to take space from someone who basically decided they were now living with you until they say so?  How do I ask him to move out without ruining the whole relationship?  I tried to help him find an apartment, but my attempts were not met by any action or attempt to move on his part.  So I tried to make the best out of the situation for as long as I could. 

One thing all of my friends who have been cheated on always say is to trust your gut.  I did eventually trust it and found out he was cheating on me.  One morning I checked his phone because he had been texting with someone late into the night again the night before and also very early in the morning.  I found that he had been sexting this other women while he was in bed with me and that disgusting person had known about me and still sent him multiple nude pictures the night prior.  I had to read about their upcoming rendezvous, which was to be that night.  The things I read and saw will forever make me sick.  How could a person be this evil to do this to me??  As soon as he left for work I threw his things out and texted him breaking it off with him and letting him knew that I knew he was sleeping with that other women.  He basically said it was my fault for him sleeping with her and said a lot of other crap I don’t want to think about ever again. I know that it was not my fault and I did nothing wrong except to trust that horrible person.
My word of advice is DON’T LET ANYONE EVER TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT.  Even if you feel that you don’t deserve any better YOU DO.  After this all I started talking to my friends and family again about the things he would say or do to me and they would ask me “Do you know that you were in an abusive relationship?” and I now say yes.  Everyone was surprised to hear the things I put up with because that does not sound like me.  I usually do not take crap from people and I love who I am and know that I am a good person.  WHY? Why did I let someone come into my life who subjected me to such scrutiny over my body, who basically told me I was not good enough, who used me for his self interest when he cared little about me?  The only reason I can think of is because I already was not myself from being unemployed and I already felt worthless and rejected.  I lived for those brief moments of happiness, for the one compliment he would give me, a smile, a hug, a cute text, anything that was positive.

None of those things were worth it.  Breaking up with him was far overdue and I do not regret throwing him out of my life.  I now understand the things he was doing to me mentally because I had already been weak and I am repairing myself to make me LINDSAY again.  I am a strong, confident, amazing, loyal, witty, honest, loving and special person and I fully intend to find that women and make her whole. I know it will take time to heal, and I never plan on forgiving him, but I will learn from this and I will become a better person because I know I can handle it.

During this time of your unemployment, please make sure that you aren’t being taken advantage of.  Though those moments of happiness make your whole day or week seem better, you are better off without them.  Don’t let anyone make this time any harder than it needs to be.  Find the people and things that love you for who YOU are and are there to support you and stick with them.  They will be the people that keep you from destroying yourself.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

This will make me humbled….

Sometimes life takes you in a direction that you have no control over.  No I am not pregnant and nor did someone die, but I did lose my job of six years this past July.

I have not been on my blog for awhile, but now I am back. Today I am going to give you a brief story of what I have been going through since my involuntary unemployment.  In future posts I am going to talk about dealing with the Unemployment Office, searching for jobs and getting interviews, how being unemployed messes with your mental state and any other experiences I encounter. I have been pretty private about what I have been dealing with, but I figured it was about time to share what I have been going through.  This whole experience has made be a bit more humbled than I have been in the past.

I have been a Public Relations contractor for over six years and I have a degree in Communication Studies with a minor in Mass Communications.  Due to contractual issues with our client our contract was put on hold and has not currently been renewed.  I loved my job, I worked harder than most people in my company and I gave my blood, sweat and tears into it.  So when my boss told us that we would be without jobs that next week my heart broke.

We knew it was a possibility and I had been trying to do my due diligence to make sure that I would be ok if we did lose the contract.  I had saved a good chunk of money (which I had been hoping to use for a down payment on a house) and I had been looking for another job.  The job search was harder than I thought it would be and I came up empty handed to find a suitable replacement for my job.

I would also like to add to this story that I found out in early July that the pain I had in my foot/leg was caused by a dislocated Cuboid bone in my foot. The bone became dislocated after I ran my fourth half marathon in May, I did not know that is what it was so I had been walking/running/hiking on a dislocated bone for almost two months which then also led me to have tendinitis in my achilles and peroneal tendons. Running is what I do for therapy and so that I am able to eat yummy food, but one can't run with a dislocated bone and tendinitis so I was forced to stop running for a few months.

It sounded like that the contract issues would be temporary and that we would be back before we knew it.  Okay so this was basically mandatory time off? Most people would think GREAT, but not me.  I am the type of person who works a part time job on top of her full time job just because I like to stay busy. So I forced myself to relax a little…well kind of.  I watched an unhealthy amount of Netflix, read a lot and even flew home to spend some time with my family.  Also I had been applying to any and every job that I could do and getting very few interviews.

Well now it has been five months and our contract is still being pushed back for another reason, I have still been unsuccessful at finding a job, I gained 10 pounds this summer from my injury excluding me from running and then stress eating.  Out of all of this horrible experience, like I said in the beginning I am going to use this blog to write about my time during my unemployment, discuss things that have been good and bad, experiences that I have had, projects I have worked on during this time off and many other things.

I hope that my story reaches someone and see that they are not alone.  Yes this situation we are in sucks hugely and I am not trying to say it doesn’t.  But hey, I’m here, you’re there and maybe we can find some peace in this crap position we are in.